news bites

Are Americans the biggest pizza eaters?
No! The highest per capita consumption is in Iceland. The menu looks more like the United State's than most countries but with fish toppings. I think it's the lifestyle there: long days, long nights, and the fact that people have a discretionary income. (Source: and interview with Domino's CEO David Brandon in Fortune)
COMMENTS: Sounds fishy.

Light traffic
A study by a Maryland researcher last year found that 35% of the nation’s traffic agencies had not retimed their traffic signals in 10 years. That mans they haven’t responded to business and residential growth that affects traffic patterns, says Philip Tarnoff, director of the Center for Advanced Transportation Technology at the University of Maryland…Ideal management of traffic lights would cut delays by 15% to 20%, reduce travel time by up to 25%, cut emissions by up to 22% and reduce gas consumption by up to 10%, according to the transportation engineers, who conducted their survey with the Federal Highway Administration and other groups. The survey estimates that improving traffic signal operations would cost about $965 million a year. (Source: USA Today)
COMMENTS: I hate traffic lights. Lizalou42 does, too.

Ben and Jen, again
Ben Affleck popped the question to Jennifer Garner last weekend, according to People and Star magazines…The wedding would be Affleck’s first, after his broken engagement to Jennifer Lopez. It would be the second marriage for Garner, who separated from husband Scott Foley in April 2003 before dating her Alias co-star Michael Vartan. (Source: USA Today)
COMMENTS: Poor Michael! Celebrity match-ups are so funny. USA Today not only has a timeline of Ben and Jennifer’s path to love, they also have a poll to see which Jennifer we, the star-crazed American public, think Ben should date next. Jennifer Saunders from Absolutely Fabulous. One benefit of dating Jennifers: Never having to worry about calling out your ex’s name in bed.

Habemus papam—we have a pope
Quotes from Pope Benedict XVI:

After the great Pope John Paul II, the cardinals have elected me—a simple, humble worker in the vineyard of the Lord. The fact that the Lord can work and act even with insufficient means consoles me, and above all I entrust myself to your prayers. In the joy of the risen Lord, trusting in his permanent help, we go forward. The Lord will help us, and Mary, his very holy mother, stands by us.

Having a clear faith, based on the creed of the church is often labeled today as fundamentalism. Whereas relativism, which is letting oneself be tossed and swept along by every wind of teaching, looks like the only attitude acceptable to today’s standards.

I will make every effort and dedicate myself to pursuing the promising dialogue that my predecessors began with various civilizations, because it is mutual understanding that gives rise to conditions for a better future for everyone.

Under John Paul II, who died April 2 after more than 26 years as pontiff, Ratzinger headed the Vatican’s Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, which interprets and enforces church teachings.

In that job since 1981, he was a staunch traditionalist. He disciplined liberal theologians, resisted calls for female priests, opposed artificial birth control and condemned homosexuality.

Monday, at a Mass launching the conclave, he rallied against moral relativism, secularism, atheism, Marxism and religious sects. He attacked modern attitudes that recognized “nothing as definitive” and prize “the self and its desires.”

He wrote a letter to U.S. bishops urging them to deny communion to politicians who support abortion rights. He has called homosexual acts a tendency toward “intrinsic moral evil” and described the U.S. outcry over pedophilia by priests as a “planned campaign” against the church.
Kenya is home to about 10 million Catholics—about 30% of the population. There are almost 140 million Catholics on the continent.

COMMENTS: Even with all of this controversy, he was still selected quite quickly. The cardinals want him to lead the church. He was Pope John Paul II’s right-hand man. My question is, how could stationing a traditionalist be a good move when the church pews, especially in Europe, are becoming emptier. People are leaving the church. Many of them leave because they’re views too often keep falling out of line with the church—a line the church traditionalists mean to hold tightly.

change in lawrence

Pay to play
Originally uploaded by theCallowQueen.

The G-man and I went to Lawrence this weekend. I love Lawrence. I loved living in Lawrence. Now, I almost feel like a stranger there.

It's become so much more crowded. It's grown so different.

The shops change, changing my comfort to longing.

I miss knowing what shop or restaurant sat where, and what each was known for. This fabulous restaurant that served the best mahi mahi has given way to a new restaurant/club.

I kept traveling down Mass. Street until we reached someplace familiar: Free State Brewing Company. Finally, a block that hasn't changed. Liberty Hall and the coffee shop sit just as I remembered.

As we waited for our table, I watched the sidewalk traffic. Couples walking their dogs. Parents out for after-dinner walks with their small children. Kids climbing on everything. College kids in hippiesque clothes that just scream KU.

I miss KU. I miss the ability to walk to someplace so alive and vibrant as Mass. Street.

a musical bridge

A Musical Bridge
Originally uploaded by theCallowQueen.

Place: Paris, France, on a bridge that goes to St. Louis-en-l'Ile, a little island in the middle of Paris. Ile St. Louis is to your right, Notre Dame is to your left. The bridge is for pedestrian traffic and street performers. This piano seems to have lost its performer.

I was touring the city alone, our second day in Paris. The island is known for its creperies. We returned the next night with the couple we were staying with to La Taverne du Sergeant Recruteur, a fun restaurant on the island. In its early days young Parisians would come and eat and drink—and then be persuaded to join the army. It's still an all you can eat and drink affair with huge baskets of breads, meats, cheeses, and veggies on your table and this around the main course and desert! Unlimited wine, too.

Time: 1 November 2002

Climate: Cool, sporadic rain, beautiful sky

Temperament: Left frustration, sadness, and annoyance two hours earlier and well into enjoying city beauty, life, and atmosphere

my new cubicle

Here I sit in my new cubicle. Gray instead of pink. Long instead of square. PC instead of Mac. It’s not bad. It’s just different. Very different. Here I go up an elevator to my cubicle on the fourth floor. I sit in a building with 300 other people. I’m unsettled. This isn’t my home. I don’t know everyone, and almost no one knows me. I feel small. I feel out of my element. I’m feeling the transition. I’d forgotten how long it takes to get used to a new job. I’d forgotten how long it takes to feel settled.

I’m happy, though. I didn’t lose my editorial skills in the move. They’re still here, feeling a little more tentative, a little more hesitant, but still here.

I’m slowly moving bits of myself into my new cubicle. Yesterday it was my small plant in the yellow cup. Today it was the cute dog clock Freaksme gave me. Tomorrow? Who knows, maybe another plant or some files. Exciting stuff, I know.

I found out that my old boss has just been promoted to Director of Business Content. I won’t go into my crazy mix of feelings on this here. But I just felt the need to note it.

today is the end

Working Chaos
Originally uploaded by theCallowQueen.

Today ends the mess on my desk.
Today ends the mess with my boss.
Today ends the mess of my life.

Tomorrow will be clean for me.
Tomorrow will be new for me.
Tomorrow will be filled with opportunity for me.

Goodbye, messy desk.
Goodbye, former job.
Goodbye, old life.

Hello, my new empty cubicle.
Hello, my new work.
Hello, possibilities.

melding two fields

The response from most people when they learn I'm leaving the veterinary industry to edit a magazine for broadcasters is confusion because what does theCallowQueen know about broadcast?

I know nothing, but that doesn't matter. Case in point: I just received the following e-mail from a veterinarian in Florida. He's a advisory board member, a frequent contributor, and funny as hell.

This writing is so much fun, I am trying to expand into other fields. Therefore, I've attached a ahort article that I hope you can use in your new position.

Use of the Common Dog, Canis familaris, to quantify acoustical output of two audio systems

C. “Big Woofer” W-------, BFD.

It is a well-known phenomenon that dogs have more acute hearing than humans. In fact, anatomical and physiologic studies (shaking the biscuit box at various decibel levels—see Farley et al) have shown that dog’s hearing is several orders of magnitude more sensitive than humans, even exceeding our ability to hear a Snickers wrapper in a crowded office building.

Therefore we used the dog to evaluate the qualities of two disparate audio systems. The two systems were:

1. Hitachiamoto BS 1009, with crystalline tube technology, earthquake buffered power supply, solid granite pre-Cambrian mounting system, powering a set of Aldeberan 9000 “Big Boy” speakers, with Mylar- silk laminate subwoofer, connected with titanium- gold layered unidirectional cable. For this test we diverted a dedicated power line from Hoover dam, de-powering Las Vegas for a period of two hours during the test.

2. Wal-Mart “Malibu Barbie Boom Box”, pink, with a new set of energizer bunny batteries installed.

Design:
We used a variety of dogs for this experiment; all were liberated form the Dallas Humane society, then flown to our laboratory in the high Nevada Desert for the duration of the experiment. To make the experiment closely approximate the human experience, each dog was fed a different diet, depending on the music he was exposed to that day. (Noted below)

The dogs were exposed to three types of music from archival compact disks: Bach Brandenburg Concerto #5 (1973 Fonseca Port, Stilton cheese)
Barry Manilow at Hollywood Bowl (Boiled hot dogs on white bread, unsalted chips)
Vinnie “Nasty Dog” Bombarino, the Italian Rap collection (Licorice)

Results:
The dogs exposed to the Bach showed a preference for the Hitachiamoto system, gathering around it almost exclusively. There is supposition that this may be because of the high heat output from the system, as the trial was done on a cold day, but this remains an area for further work.

The Manilow music drew unanimous attention to the Boom Box. This puzzled the researchers, until they realized that the boom box rendered the singer largely unintelligible, which we assume was the attraction.

During the Rap session, three dogs ran away. The other dogs acted painful, especially as the volume was increased, until finally one of the dogs tore apart the speaker wires in agonal struggle. We tried to play the CD on the Boom box, however the machine exploded.

Conclusions:
Dogs apparently are more discerning than we previously believed. The preference for J.S. Bach may indicate unknown mathematical abilities. (A grant has been submitted for further research.)

Barry Mainilow sounds best when barely intelligible. These findings are, of course, not new, but it is good to have them confirmed by an objective species.

Finally, apparently even dogs don’t want to be seen with a Pink Boom Box.