if you knew i was coming, would you bake a cake?

At my cousin's wedding last weekend, practically every person I spoke with asked about Kcprogrammer, how long we'd been together, and whether we were talking about marriage. And I'm an open person. You know I'll talk about almost anything. But I really got tired of it. People assume that since we've been dating for a year and a half that we must be on the verge of marriage. And we may be. But what I realized in my annoyance with this same question being asked over and over--to which I never seemed to be able to offer a response that satisfied--was that they were asking the wrong question.

Just because you may madly love your boyfriend of a year--or three years for that matter--doesn't mean that you can spend the next 50 years with him and still be happy. Love is the icing. It's nice in little tastes by itself, but it's only truly good when it is the complement to something much more substantial--say a delectable, moist cake. But that won't happen if you don't have the right ingredients. And this is one recipe that I don't want to mess up.

I think too many people get a taste of the icing and assume that the cake that's beneath it is equally yummy. We rush in foolhardily--even when we think ourselves rational--and we pay the price. All of these wedding shows on TV--what if they followed up and showed the couples going through their divorces or living in loveless, commitmentless marriages just a few years down the road?

A poor dessert leaves one less satisfied than if no dessert had been had at all. This may all sound like Kcprogrammer is going to be fighting an uphill battle. But if at the top of the hill, one receives the best cake ever tasted, the climb will have been more than worth it.

27 and tired

Last year on my 26th birthday, I felt no difference from it and my 25th. This birthday--my 27th--has a distinctly different feel. I'm undeniably close to 30. And while my boyfriend and several of my friends have hit that age mark, it still looms before me. I feel old.

I know many of you must chuckle at this. But those of you who are chuckling are probably older than me. So then, think back to when you first met me or the age you remember me best. Remember how you old were at the time? Now fast forward to today. Feel your age now?

I have nothing against adulthood. And I'm not saying that I'm clinging to my childhood. It's merely a recognition of knowing who I was, who I am, and who I am on the path to becoming. Life is about continuous change, and I like patterns and predictability--and early bedtimes. If I'm going to bed at 10pm now--even on the weekends--does that indicate that I'll be in bed by 9pm when I'm 37 or 8pm when I'm 47?

The second of my cousins is getting married this weekend in Georgia. I'm going and so are all but one of my other cousins. The cousin who is already married will be bringing his 5-month-old daughter. It will be the first time I see her. It makes me feel old. But then I'll probably get a dose of young-unmarried-person reality when I'm put in a hotel room with my mom, grandma and only female (single) cousin.

And on another birthday topic: Kcprogrammer sent the most gorgeous bouquet of roses to me at work today. I was simply floored and lost all ability to concentrate on my work for the rest of the afternoon. Amazingly thoughtful gift or no, I love that guy. (It's just that with the addition of the amazingly thoughtful gift he gets big-time points, which are useful to get a girlfriend to postpone any nagging or pestering for at least a day or two.)

And on a non-birthday note: Countingpigs, I love you, and I'm thinking of you. The invader will be gone by the time you wake.