Spring has sprungSo the first day of spring has me thinking about another first, my first name and how it defines me. I don't really like being grouped with the girls named Summer or April. My name is more than that. My name is deeper than that. I'm more than that. I'm deeper than that. I know how petty this must seem, but what ever. I'm a petty person.
the grass has ris'
I wonder where the birdies is
My mother's inspiration for my name: John 7:38
He who believes in Me [who cleaves to and trusts in and relies on Me] as the Scripture has said, From his innermost being shall flow [continuously] springs and rivers of living water.This is how my mother wished me to be. Now, as an adult, who am I? How do I define myself? How much have I allowed myself and my identity to be bound by my name? By the meaning behind the word?
In an attempt to broaden Spring, I offer these definitions of my life as Spring (based from definitions of the word spring):
- I am in a perpetual season of growth.
- I am lively in spirit and movement.
- I am resilient when pushed, pulled or pressed and keep my original position or form.
- I move forward by leaps and bounds.
- I am a source, the beginning for ideas.
- I produce, disclose and develop suddenly and unexpectedly.
- I follow life and allow it to happen in the season appropriate for me.
- I am a bit warped, cracked and bent.
As a child — and on occasion as an adult — I've wanted to be called by my middle name. It's a nice, normal, professional name. With a name like that, people wouldn't peg me as being a bit dingy right off the bat nor would they question it or make a comment about it. It'd just be a name, my name. And maybe then I wouldn't feel the pull to feed their expectations by acting dingy. Maybe I'd transform to fit my new name. Maybe, maybe but maybe not.
Maybe I just need to allow me to be me.
Happy first day of spring.
6 comments:
I agree that names can play a good deal of importance in how people see us and how we live our lives. I think my parents gave me a blank slate by naming me Amanda. It's so common that a person doesn't assume much. Except they are able to pin point my age (as my name is only really common in people my age group.)
I think using a nickname can give quite the impression a lot. I'm pretty sure I would be a different person if people had continued to call me Mandy after age 6.
Spring ... SPRING ... ! SPRING ???!!! For real? Call ME.
-PS
Amanda, you got me thinking about those of you who grew up being called a diminutive. At some point, you had to make the change. It was a point where you marked that you were not the child you once were. Interesting.
PS, you're a careful reader. See you Thursday!
Wow...I leave out a lot of words when I write...Prof. Marsh would NOT be proud of me.
I totally understand the name influence. Though my name doesn't mean anything in particular, it is odd, and therefore stands out. When you have a name that is tricky to pronounce, you have the constant concern of people mispronouncing it and the confusion that causes.
And to top things off I became friends with someone who's name is one syllable off from mine. Talk about confusing. People think lizalou and I are the same person most the time...
YellowDancer, I'd be curious to know whether you feel a loss of identity when introduced with lizalou. Do you think that the perception that the two of you are the same person brings out the traits the two of you hold in common to a greater degree than normal?
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