Monday, June 05, 2006

i'm not a pauper or a beggar

OK, I'm not sure what's going on with this house thing now. Apparently the realtor is telling my grandma that she could sell the house for $20k more than we were valuing the house at (including the needed repairs).

So, of course, everything that was in place is now out of place.

My grandma is one of those people who, when presented with one new piece of information, must go back and reconsider every other thought she's had on the issue. I can't judge her on this; I am pretty much the same way.

I would like for this to work. But if it doesn't, it doesn't. No expectations. I know my grandma will feel guilty if she decides to put the house for sale. There's even talk of her still giving me money toward buy another house.

I don't want it. I don't want guilt money. I'm not poor. I'm not in need. I have a good life. I buy what I need. I save as much as I can. And I'm doing just fine.

I love gifts and opportunities that are offered freely from the heart. I treasure them. I am thankful for them. But things given out of guilt (which I am guilty of doing) are false. And in taking them, one takes on the guilt. And while the intent is different, such gift giving presents many of the same problems as manipulative giving, which involves hidden emotional strings and commitments. I've fallen into the trap of accepting these before, not realizing them for what they were. This is a danger zone for relationships.

Now, in my (oh-so-unbiased) opinion, the realtor is bettering her estimate in an attempt to snag the deal. She could get almost $10k from the sell of the house. (Thanks for kcprogrammer for the math here. And he reminded me not to forget the $$ due to the buyer's realtor, which the seller usually pays for as well.) And the realtor knows that my grandma was considering selling the house to me, and so it's understandable that she'd be putting on the pressure to keep this from slipping through her fingers. How much would you do for a quick $10k?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you actually need a realtor for this deal? If your grandmother doesn't want to sell to you (or you don't want to buy) then sure, but to me it seems you could do perfectly well with just a good mortgage broker.

Good luck with whatever you decide!--at

Kat said...

Ahh, Callow Queen. What a royal C.F. I do hope it sorts itself out. Things are always weird when it comes to money and family. But things will work out as they should. Just have faith!

Now when are we getting together again?!?

theCallowQueen said...

Well, if I were to buy the house, there wouldn't be a need for a realtor. But it has not been decided whether I will buy the house or not.

My grandma must decide whether she wants to sell the house to me or to someone else who's able to pay a higher price.

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