family wear and tear

It's been a busy week.

I worked 11 straight hours yesterday. My very empty stomach was grateful for the Maui Express my roomie and YellowDancer picked up for me.

I also got a troubling email from my uncle and a call from my mom. It's stuff about my grandma and the sale of her house. But what I think it's really about is power. There's a tug of war for control right now in my family. And I'm sad. Everyone is acting how each thinks is best. But the ideas of "best" counter each other and create friction.

I've been thinking about family a lot lately.

One of the morning shows on the radio was talking about a dating website that is targeted at married people. The host was basically talking about how cool of an idea it was and how he'd love to get with a rich, married woman. And my heart hurt.

My roomie and I watched an episode of Bridezillas the other night. The show followed two brides as they prepared for their weddings. Now the show works hard to cherry pick the craziest of the crazy for the best emotional explosions, but I think these women offer magnified views of our culture's warped sense of weddings and married life. And I'm including both Christians and secularists into this culture, so don't think you're exempt for some reason. We're all warped.

Even if we try not to be, we're still affected by consumer culture. We're hungry for more, for what's different than what we currently have, for what's more expensive than what the person next to you has, for what "better," for more power, for power over others.

And it subtly seeps in to our decisions. We may be able to explain or support our positions without reference to our inner greed, but that doesn't mean it isn't there. And the more we ignore it, the more we hide the true source of our actions, the more difficult we make it to align our goals with others.