callow fumblings

okay, i'm having one of those weird in-between moments days.
i'm in transition.
okay, i'm always in transition.
but it's more marked right now.

transition is tricky because it requires tentative steps into an unknown sphere.

it's not just the conference, though i have the nervous churny feeling in my stomach everytime i think of my new responsibilities and everything that conference takes out of me every year.

i'm having one of those bigger life-questioning moments as well.
after a talk with a friend this weekend, i was reminded that the me i believe i am and the me others experience are different people.
this, is frustrating as hell, because of course, i think the former is pretty good. but i'm sometimes disgusted by the latter.

so, perhaps, lizzy lou, you should ignore me. perhaps you should ignore my previous ramblings.
i thought my philosophy seemed to work, at least for me, at least with some people, at well enough.
but maybe it's time for me to move beyond.
it's at least time for me to reevaluate.
ick.

so today i'm feeling my callowness, my immaturity.