ring, ring
KERRY: (picks up phone) This is John.
BUSH: Hiya there, Johnny, how ya doin'?
KERRY: Fine, thank you. I hope you and Laura are well.
BUSH: Just dandy, thanks. Hey, look, about this debate thing tomorrow…
KERRY: I thought our people had worked out all of those details already.
BUSH: Well, yeah, they have. It's just, um, whadda planning on wearing?
KERRY: Excuse me?
BUSH: It's just I can't decide. I've been staring into my closet, and I just can't seem to make up my mind. Everything just goes kinda blurry like, ya know?
KERRY: Actually, no, I don't believe I'm following you. (pause) Have you asked Laura or your daughters help?
BUSH: Naw, the gals are out shoppin' and stuff.
KERRY: Alright, maybe we can help each other out on this. We'll both wear black suits and white shirts. Now, as for the ties, my aids say metallic colors are in style, but I did want to wear one and it clash with yours. I have both a red one and a blue one. I was going to wear the red tie and then if you showed up wearing a red tie, I would change mine to the blue. Instead, I'll send the blue one to you.
BUSH: Well that's mighty kind of you, Johnny, but I was hankerin' to wear a red tie. The red tie is a bit stronger and authoritative and stuff.
KERRY: Well, how about if after this debate we trade, and I'll wear the blue tie next week. And we can even wear those little American flag pins on our left lapels.
BUSH: Geez. That sounds peachy, Johnny. And, no offense, but this is the debate that I least need the red tie. I'm my best and strongest when it comes to this international stuff. Like, I was just talkin' wid Putin earlier today—he's such a good guy that Putin. I'll get him to come around one day.
KERRY: Right, good to know. Look, if there's nothing else—
BUSH: Naw, nothin' else, 'cept what shoes you plannin' on wearin'?
- theCallowQueen
- In the down-hill tumble of life, I'm okay with the scratches and bruises; it's the broken bones that I'm trying to avoid.
3 comments:
Crack head.
I couldn't watch the debates. Too much touchy-feely negative commentary. I don't remember what ties they wore, and certainly didn't wait around to see their feet.
I’m glad for that crack in my head. It allowed me to thoroughly enjoy some ravioli and root beer earlier this afternoon. As for the debates, it is, of course, your choice to watch them or not. I thoroughly enjoyed watching Bush squirm.
I’ve always been fascinated by the ties politicians wear. During campaigning season, if you’re a candidate, you won’t be caught wearing a tie that wasn’t predominantly red or blue. As for the red vs. blue, red dominates. It’s stronger. It makes the wearer look stronger and more self-possessed. The guy in blue looks good, he can even be smart and good, but a leader wears red. But when two candidates face off, they never are wearing the same color ties. Somewhere along the line the decision is made of who gets red and who gets blue.
So I was watching Bush squirm last night in his blue necktie, and I wondered how he got stuck with the wimp tie. And, duh, the shoe thing is just a funny to highlight the ridiculous tie quandary these guys put themselves through.
Crack head.
Why am I not surprised that such usually trival things become do-or-die in the crazyhead world of politics. How obnoxious.
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