nibble, nibble, bite

I'm not hungry, but I have the desire to eat and eat and eat today. Sigh.

Twix, I hear you calling.

a royals evening

Kcprogrammer and I went with A&J to the Royals' game last night against the Red Sox. It was a good game. A ball hit by one of the Red Sox guys went flying straight toward us (AT and I ducked while the boys were eyeing the potential prize). Thankfully, it continued flying over our heads and out of the ballpark. The Royals won! And it was nice to spend some time with friends. (And I didn't get a sunburn!)

i want candy

It was one thing for my roomie to go on a super health kick. She's eating all this low-cal stuff, which I'm cool with (I like having good snack options), and going to the gym every freakin' day, which makes me feel a bit lazy and tired. But then last week, kcprogrammer kicked exercise and health eating into high gear as well.

The overall end result I'm good with. I don't eat out as much. I eat healthier foods. I'm motivated to go to the gym a bit more often so I don't feel like such a slug.

The problem: There's a sever lack of chocolate in my life. Yes, I could go to the store and buy candy bars to eat. But that requires, um, effort.

See, I'm not the grocery shopper in my household. My roomie may give me instructions to pick up and item or two on rare occasions, but she's the buyer. (This is due partly to my avoidance of the task, her preferred shopping time on the way home from work, and the fact that I don't think she trusts me to make the most cost-effective choices.)

And now no candy or dessert with kcprogrammer either. If he's going to indulge, he tends more towards pizza or BBQ than chocolate and ice cream.

The other day at the store (yes, I have been known to go into stores), I looked at the fat and calories in my favorite candy bars. The facts weren't good, I know, no surprise. But I was hoping that one, just one, of my preferred sweets might somehow slip into the not outrageous category. For more sad news, see CNN's Nutrition Comparison of Sweets.

In the words of my doctor, "If it tastes good, spit it out."

headaches

So that headache from Monday worsened. And the meds I was given to relieve the headache (since I'm not supposed to take ibuprofen any longer and Tylenol does nothing for me) turned out to be nothing but trouble, intensifying my upset stomach. A trip to the porcelain god was required before calling it quits for the day.

I went home still hoping to take a nap and then finish my day's work. That didn't happen. The throbbing continued in my head and the nausea came like waves. Thank you, to my very attentive roomie. I'm very lucky to have you.

I did feel well enough to venture back to work at 6a.m. to work for a few hours without the noise of co-workers or the glaring lights. I didn't accomplish as much as my managing editor would have liked. But she was, understandably stressed. My illness left her alone on the editorial staff to tackle two magazine deadlines and the day's ration of newsletters. I felt bad, but I would have felt even worse if I had stayed. I simply could not look at my computer screen for an instant longer.

My boss, who has less to do with production and didn't know of the stress my managing editor was under, was surprised and impressed with my dedication. He even asked me if he could get me anything from downstairs. (OK, most of you would not be impressed by this, but if you knew what a reclusive type my boss is, you'd be impressed.)

I went home a bit after 9a.m. to spend a second day nursing my headache. I tried to nap. I grew restless. And then last night, I couldn't sleep at all. I tossed and turned and woke a bit grumpy and with aches in my back.

So, after two days of resting to nurse a headache, I'm more tired than when I began.

asleep at the keyboard

I'm working in a fog this morning. I have my multitude of tasks vying for attention in my brain.
"Me next!"
"No, me first!"
"Don't do that!"
"I'm the priority"

And I have a headache.

I haven't read any blogs in weeks. Bloglines is showing that I have 1549 unread posts.

I have two 800-word articles to write that are past due. I was given a short deadline; they're not for my magazine, I'm not getting paid for them, and I haven't written anything that substantial in a long time. Yes, I'm procrastinating.

On Sunday kcprogrammer came with me to help my paternal grandmother move into her new place. We began at 7a.m. and had moved two loads in an hour and a half. But the work wasn't over. We then went to my maternal grandmother's house to assist my mom in sorting through the last of the items and putting them into a U-Haul truck bound for a storage unit. Kcprogrammer got an excellent chance to see how the two sides of my family operate very differently.

I don't know how it happened but the sale of both houses is today.

That's it from me for now. Toodles.

back and busy

I'm back from the Windy City. Had a great time. And most of my favorite magazine friends were there in all of their award-winning glory.

My bed was ridiculously hard. I mean really hard. So hard that it wasn't just me complaining. One person was moved to a different room and wasn't charged for his uncomfortable night. Others just complained. For me in the end, they put a thick feather bed down, and with six pillows around me, I was able to sleep just fine.

On Saturday night I got an amazing chance to see Cirque du Soleil's Corteo. It was one of the best performances that I have ever seen. It had a story line that I think I almost was able to understand. And that's only because they threw in a bit of English. OK, I just read a little more about the story line for Corteo. I need to downgrade my estimation of how much I understood. I got the funeral part and the procession. But I completely didn't catch on that he was a clown!

time flies

I leave for Chicago in two days. There is so much to get done before then. I have a running mental list (and am sure to forget half of its contents).

One thing I didn't forget this morning was finding my flight itinerary so that I could send it to kcprogrammer. He had kindly volunteered to take his girlfriend to the airport for her flight on Wednesday morning. Except when I looked to check the exact time, this is what I saw: 7:05PM. Shite.

kcprogrammer even had to read it a second time before he notice the error. Now what?

My choices:

• Fly out at 7:05pm and miss out on a reception where I'd meet the other scholarship winners, the organizations board members and staff, and conference speakers. There was even a chance that I could go to the national board meeting and talk about my chapter's blog. And I was going to try to fit in a wee bit of sightseeing.
• Pay $151 to change my flight to 7:40am. Um, no.
  
• Fly standby and risk the boredom of a day spent at KCI and the chance that my butt could still be on that 7pm flight.
• Call three hours in advance of the flight I want to get advance standby. Confirmation price: $25. First flight out (and probably the most likely to have open seats): 6:20am. Three hour call ahead time: 3:20am. Ugh.
  

So, I'm feeling understandably brilliant this morning.

a day's difference

OK, so Thursday kinda sucked. Friday in contrast was great.

The family stuff calmed down a bit.

At work, we met with a new hire who's going to be taking over a nice chunk of our web duties. I am so happy. I was about to drown with rolling out three newsletters a week along with my regular duties. And then I found out that it was my day to take summer hours (and leave work at 1pm). I owe my thanks to the editor who took care of a task for me that afternoon. And before I left, our company fed us free pizza.

And it was my nine-month anniversary with kcprogrammer. Cheesy, maybe, but it makes me happy. He brought me some gorgeous roses and treated me to a lovely dinner. And the weather was good, so we walked to Blockbuster.

family wear and tear

It's been a busy week.

I worked 11 straight hours yesterday. My very empty stomach was grateful for the Maui Express my roomie and YellowDancer picked up for me.

I also got a troubling email from my uncle and a call from my mom. It's stuff about my grandma and the sale of her house. But what I think it's really about is power. There's a tug of war for control right now in my family. And I'm sad. Everyone is acting how each thinks is best. But the ideas of "best" counter each other and create friction.

I've been thinking about family a lot lately.

One of the morning shows on the radio was talking about a dating website that is targeted at married people. The host was basically talking about how cool of an idea it was and how he'd love to get with a rich, married woman. And my heart hurt.

My roomie and I watched an episode of Bridezillas the other night. The show followed two brides as they prepared for their weddings. Now the show works hard to cherry pick the craziest of the crazy for the best emotional explosions, but I think these women offer magnified views of our culture's warped sense of weddings and married life. And I'm including both Christians and secularists into this culture, so don't think you're exempt for some reason. We're all warped.

Even if we try not to be, we're still affected by consumer culture. We're hungry for more, for what's different than what we currently have, for what's more expensive than what the person next to you has, for what "better," for more power, for power over others.

And it subtly seeps in to our decisions. We may be able to explain or support our positions without reference to our inner greed, but that doesn't mean it isn't there. And the more we ignore it, the more we hide the true source of our actions, the more difficult we make it to align our goals with others.

i smell swimmingly

Things may not be going swimmingly right now, as I am about to drown in the work before me. But I do smell like chlorine. It's amazing how that can linger on the skin and in hair.

Anyway, if someone with CPR certification would please stand by...