superior children

OK, this post is from The Dilbert Blog. I read it the latest post this morning and it made me laugh. My parents were so proud of my school projects. The other kids' stuff was obviously inferior.

Open House: "I recently attended a school open house for the kids, ages 6 and 8. It was my first one and I didn’t know what to expect. The main point, as I learned, was for the kids to show their parents the projects they worked on during the year. The first thing I noticed was that our kids produced spectacular works of art whereas all the other kids produced utter crap.

I listened as the other parents heaped lavish praise on their little losers, despite the obvious low quality of the work. I worried that praising shoddy workmanship would cause the kids to stall in their development. Why would you improve when you’re already impressing the people that control your access to candy? That sort of thinking is where hobos come from, and it disturbed me to hear the little tykes getting such bad guidance.

Determined to set things right, I waited until one set of parents was distracted by the teacher. Their offspring stood in front of a wall of alleged art, admiring his work. I leaned over and whispered, “You call that a dog? It looks more like a squirrel that got caught in the lawnmower.”

Naturally he started crying. But I too cry when I learn. So I figured I was on the right track. I slipped out the side door before his parents could discover who had saved their son from a future of mediocrity. Call it humility if you will. I just like to help. I don’t need to get credit.

Okay, that didn’t really happen. How many of you believed I really said that?